Dear Diary...

Wise words from Bahiyah:

When we feel sad, down, think about what the other person must be feeling.
When we try to make others feel better, we feel better ourselves.
Have the comfort of knowing you'll get through this experience and you'll be a better person.
Seeing your parents still positive despite cards being down is a humbling experience and you get outside your own grief.

Get out of bed and face it and do the best you can.
Reality often is not as bad as you imagine.

Since I’m in between relationships at the moment, I’ve had some time to think about what I want and don’t want in a future partner. It helps, too, that I’ve had ample opportunity to observe all of my friends and their relationships. So I made a list of some must-haves we single ladies should be looking for. Well, not just looking for, but holding out for. Here’s what is non-negotiable:
1. A guy who can make you laugh. Some things in life are not funny. Can he make you at least chuckle when the chips are down?
2. A guy who will laugh at your jokes and “get” you. He might not understand you perfectly on the first date, but if you think you’re funny at all, I hope he gets that and appreciates it about you. Otherwise, you could be Kathy Griffin and you’ll still be laughing alone your whole life. Well, she's single. But I mean, if Kathy Griffin were—whatever!3. A guy who will attend your lame “things.” Adult dance recital, Mom’s birthday party? Find the guy who will go to something boring even though he will get nothing out of it—but he'll go for you.
4. A guy who will do nothing with you. And I mean Nothing. If you’re feeling low-energy, anti-social, or blah, can he sit and do nothing with you or does he always leave you on the couch and go party with the guys? And could you two entertain each other on a deserted island or while stuck in traffic?
5. A guy who will give you a thoughtful gift or card. Not every time, obviously, but I would hope this dude would have his moments of showing you he has thought about you.
6. A guy who will say he loves you. I do not care about his made-up theory that love is just a social construct or what have you. Hold out for someone who can and will say it. Also, he shouldn’t say it just because you want him to; he should say it because it feels good to say it.
7. A guy you respect. Does he have a good head on his shoulders? Does he generally like his job? Is he proud of himself? Let’s hope so, ‘cause if you think he’s a lazy idiot, you’ll end up resenting him.
I asked some of my friends what they held out for, and this is what they told me….
8. A guy you have good chemistry with. He doesn’t have to be Jude Law, but you should be attracted enough so that every time you have an argument, you will be motivated (by your underlying desire for him!) to work it out.
9. A guy who agrees with you about travel. If you have wanderlust and he never wants to leave his hometown, don’t compromise by staying with him long-term and staying home. It’s fine to be a homebody, but if you're interested in exploring, find a guy with the travel bug. Otherwise, you’ll look back one day when you’re too old, tired, or broke and you'll wish you had seen the world.
10. A guy with similar family goals. Don’t compromise on whether or not you’ll have kids. If you want them, find a guy who does. Me, I don’t get serious with guys who say “maybe” they want kids. I want someone who feels as sure as I do—and I can't talk anyone in or out of anything.
And finally, the best one—of course, comes from my wise friend Melissa:
11. “Wait for someone who sees you the way you want to be seen. He thinks you’re smart, funny, beautiful and powerful—always. Even on days when you can’t believe any of that about yourself.”
That’s a good one! Can’t wait for that.

I know it's good to start writing Gratitude Diary again, it will help with the healing..

1. Slept in late today
2. I think I "scared" Evelyn the other day after she witnessed my "outburst". The next day she went to buy me an Agate bracelet. Awww so sweet of her!
3. Evelyn invited me over to her house for lunch today. Wow! She cooked up a feast! One whole roast chicken, salsa-like salad, mash potatoes, boiled vegetables.
4. Brought over ice cream and juice to Evelyn's [mudita]
5. Saw Lee Joon Ki on tv at Evelyn's
6. Evelyn's mom showed me her quilt making.
7. Had nice dinner with Quei Nee and afterwards went to watch Eclipse with her.

• I came back from Singapore to be with my mom, many people would not leave a comfortable lifestyle with good salary.
• After work I spend at least till 11.30pm with mom.
• The gift of Dhamma excels all gifts
  I chanted with her.
  I shared Dhamma talks with her
  I taught her how to chant Bhavatu sabba mangalam...
  I brought her to the temple
• Brought her to her class reunions
• Bring her for "makan angin" in the car, Esplanade, Gurney Drive
• Brought her "makan angin" at Tanjung Seri Pinang
• Bring her for sing-along at senior citizen's (honestly, how many times have you seen your mom's friend's children bring them there?)
• Took her to Botanical Gardens
• Took mom to gym
• Enjoyed giving mom hairwash
• Enjoyed giving mom massage
• Enjoyed doing makeup for mom
• Bring mom to cinema, watch Mamma Mia, her senior citizen screenings....
• Enjoyed playing Scrabble with mom
• Enjoyed playing What Word on comp with mom
• Brought her to Soroptomist concert at WOU
• Brought mom to concert at Dewan Sri Pinang
• Brought mom to vocal recital at Komtar
• Brought mom to Than Siang temple
• Bought mom crystal
• Bought mom lotsa t-shirts, clothes

A teaching from Venerable Ajahn Chah (Pra Bhodinyana Thera):
"About this mind... In truth there is nothing really wrong with it. It is intrinsically pure. Within itself it's already peaceful. That the mind is not peaceful these days is because it follows moods. The real mind doesn't have anything to it, it is simply (an aspect of) Nature. It becomes peaceful or agitated because moods deceive it. The untrained mind is stupid. Sense impressions come and trick it into happiness, suffering, gladness and sorrow, but the mind's true nature is none of those things. That gladness or sadness is not the mind, but only a mood coming to deceive us. The untrained mind gets lost and follows these things, it forgets itself. Then we think that it is we who are upset or at ease or whatever. But really this mind of ours is already unmoving and peaceful... really peaceful! Just like a leaf which is still as long as no wind blows. If a wind comes up the leaf flutters. The fluttering is due to the wind -- the 'fluttering' is due to those sense impressions; the mind follows them. If it doesn't follow them, it doesn't 'flutter.' If we know fully the true nature of sense impressions we will be unmoved. Our practice is simply to see the Original Mind. So we must train the mind to know those sense impressions, and not get lost in them. To make it peaceful. Just this is the aim of all this difficult practice we put ourselves through."

1. The Notebook (Nicholas Sparks)
2. Alice In Wonderland & Through The Looking Glass (CS Lewis)
3. Eat, Pray, Love (Elizabeth Gilbert)
4. The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (Stieg Larsson)
5. Step On It Cupid (Lorelai Mathias) - a Little Black Dress book
6. Twenties Girl (Sophie Kinsella)

[Target: 10 books]

1. Received a compliment from Mr Fong today. He said I "looked cool"... haha!
   (I tried out a new matching clothes today, my old grey HangTen shirt + grey bolero)
2. Christine cancelled so I managed to ask Mrs Gan to shift till later
   (ask and you shall receive)
3. Ate yummy chicken chop (from Tanjung Tokong Food Court) with mom in hospital