Dear Diary...

Strength comes from indomitable spirit
We are not defined by our mistakes
It's what happens afterwards that matters

If you feel the food is even mildly "basi" already, please don't eat, no matter how much you like it or how expensive it is. It is not worth "polluting" your body with it. You need to take care of your body for it to last you till old age.

Stand firm, stand your ground.
Think rationally, are you inconveniencing anyone? Is it your right (of way?).
You don't need to back down just to "align" yourself to the "victim mentality".
And also, if you back down, and inconvenience YOURSELF, you know you're gonna be pissed at yourself too.

Wow talk about instant kamma...
I just passed money to Eng Hoe in the afternoon for Kathina,... then evening I already got an SMS from Sis Sumedha saying there's Ajahn Brahm retreat at year end.
Yay! It slightly overlaps my Yamaha holiday so replacements won't be so bad.
I'm so excited, I've started to make list liao. Going to go Mahindarama later to sign up. Oh and of course apply leave from Mrs Fong. *fingers crossed she'll okay it*

Sano-senpai had a pep talk to me last night.
He was counselling me to have more confidence in myself, in terms of my musical abilities.
I was telling him how I feel "impatient" cos I'm so "old" already and still my playing is "not there yet"....
and how I had "kemerosotan" for 10 years and now I want to catch up with it.

Later on I realised how stupid it is to think about the 10 years.
It's as silly as saying, "aiyoh why after 10 lifetimes I'm still going thru samsara"...
Life is like that, everyone has their own "kamma"...
Uppekkha and Mudita.... if other pple have fantastic abilities, rejoice that they are blessed, probably they did a lot of good and it's their good kamma ripening.

Ways to motivate yourself to practise, love music when you feel "burnout"

• Find new interesting pieces that excite you
  eg. Jennifer sent me Danse Macabre, Saori introduced me to Carnival of Animals
• Watch vids on Youtube, eg Julian Rachlin and Friends at Dubrovnik
• Read biographies

Had a huge shock today. Went for accompaniment with Ysabel only to find out that Alyssa told me the wrong number and I prepared the wrong piece. I had prepared for a one page Largo and ended up having to sight-read an eight page Allegro. "Fantastic".

1. Always confirm with the soloist, the exact title, Op. number, composer, which movement(s).
2. Sight reading is important. Practise more
3. Playing scales and cadences is important
4. Improvisation is important. Practise more